The fact that pornography is so easily available online makes porn addiction difficult to heal. Technology is a necessary part of daily life, and with pornography only a “click” or a “tap” away, those who suffer from addiction need to be vigilant in their work towards recovery.
Although pornography is readily available, some people who suffer from pornography addiction pivot to seeking out actual sex with a frequency that can leave their partners exhausted or with feelings of objectification.
Jerri Jorgensen, co-founder and family liaison at Desert Solace, described how many of the spouses of her clients at the inpatient addiction recovery facility have been affected when their partner’s porn addiction changed to sex addiction.
Related: Technology And Pornography Addiction: Three Leading Factors
“Pornography is just part of sex addiction,” Jorgensen said. “It’s just another place to … numb the pain,” she continued. “There are so many ways to avoid. Some are more socially acceptable than others. And with pornography and sex addiction, that has such a stigma.”
This stigma, Jorgensen said, sets pornography addiction apart from other addictions, and explains why it’s such a difficult addiction to overcome.
Addiction to pornography, Jorgensen explained, “is a shame-driven disease. A lot more than drugs and alcohol.”
Jorgensen said many women try to match their husbands’ enthusiasm, believing that if they are “nicer” or “give him sex more,” their husband will be fully satisfied and be able to come out of his pornography addiction. However, Jorgensen said that this sort of thinking is counterintuitive.
Instead, she recommended spouses set down boundaries, realizing that their partners are going through an addiction that, at its core, is covering up shame with repetitive behavior. Until that underlying shame is dealt with, those suffering from addiction use their repetitive pornography viewing or compulsive sexual behavior to block out negative emotions.
Boundaries can be set by spouses, but those who suffer from pornography addiction will also need to set boundaries on their own behavior in order to keep their activities from progressing into more problematic behavior.
Jorgensen explained that “when it’s pornography, it … can escalate into strip clubs, prostitutes, affairs.” Especially when sex workers are involved, sex addicts “can get in trouble, legally,” Jorgensen warned.
Desert Solace seeks to help their clients face the shame underlying their behavioral and substance addictions so that they can move towards recovery.
They also support clients’ spouses who often get caught in the crosshairs of addiction and teach both partners how to set positive boundaries to help strengthen their relationships with themselves and each other.
When asked what she’d say to people struggling with porn addiction, Jorgensen said the most important thing for addicts or those who suspect their loved one might be addicted is to reach out for help.
“They can call me. I can suggest a place to go. I can suggest good therapists or just good resources,” Jorgensen said. “So if you call and you’re not even thinking about residential treatment, we’re still really good resources. Because we’ve been there. We’ve lived it.”
Desert Solace is an inpatient addiction treatment center in St. George, Utah. Desert Solace specializes in the treatment of pornography and sex addictions. Additionally, they offer treatment programs for gaming, gambling and substance abuse. Their inpatient facility for porn, sex, gaming, gambling and substance addictions features professional, licensed counselors, a professional chef, equine therapy and more. With ongoing outpatient support for patients and their loved ones via phone calls and online messaging, Desert Solace believes in involving the client’s family in the pornography and sex addiction recovery process.
Desert Solace
451 N Meadow Dr.
Dammeron Valley, UT 84783, USA
info@desertsolace.com
(435) 817-1351
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