I learned a few lessons along the way while using my flip phone. Hopefully some of these things will help you if you are considering using a flip phone yourself to help in your own recovery from sex/pornography addiction:

1. Flip phones are not fool-proof

Something I’ve learned after years of being in my own addiction and now 4 years of helping other men overcome their addiction is this: if an addict wants to find porn, he’s going to find it. It doesn’t matter if he’s got a smartphone or a flip phone or a pager, he will find a way to get to his addiction. That’s why it’s important to work a full recovery (getting professional therapy, going to 12-step meetings, working the steps, finding a sponsor, etc.), because just changing the type of phone you’re using won’t do anything if you’re not working recovery.

So what’s the point of even getting a flip phone? It adds just a bit more friction between the addict and his addiction. In research done into breaking habits, it has been proven that adding more friction between the person and the habit helps with breaking the habit. That’s why I try not to keep soda in my house. If it’s easy to get to, that’s the first thing I’ll drink. But when water is the only option, I’d rather drink that than have to go to the gas station to get a soda.

The same thing applies to using a flip phone. There will always be other ways to access pornography if that’s what a person really wants. But if the inconvenience of finding pornography is greater than the desire to look at it, then having a flip phone instead of a smart phone can be a benefit.

So look at it this way, a flip phone is just one of many possible options available to help in recovery. It won’t keep you from finding porn, but it could tip the balance slightly in your favor.

2. Accept and embrace the inconveniences

Like I wrote about above, having a flip phone comes with some inconveniences. I had to learn to accept and embrace those inconveniences. Not having instant access to news, emails, sports scores, music and social media eventually didn’t matter that much to me. And after time, I came to enjoy the slower pace of life and inner peace that came with not always needing to be attached to my phone to avoid boredom.

The fact is, the feeling of peace and safety that I got from my trusty flip phone actually surpassed whatever enjoyment and entertainment I ever got from my smart phone. Knowing that I was doing well in my recovery and I didn’t need my smartphone anymore gave me a sense of satisfaction I didn’t think was possible.

3. Have pride in owning a flip phone

I was amazed at how many people I ran into who saw my flip phone and told me they wish they had one! They knew that their smartphone wasn’t good for them but they also felt like they were stuck with it. Over time, I started to develop a sense of pride in having a flip phone. Being strong in my recovery became a part of my identity and my flip phone was just an outward reminder of that.

One funny story – I went with my wife and daughter to see a guy who was pretty well known online for being against giving teenagers a smartphone. We were sitting in the first 10 rows or so of the audience. At one point during his speech, he asked if anyone in the audience was using a flip phone. He expected to see a bunch of teenagers holding up their flip phones. I raised mine up and I was the first one he saw. Then when he realized that I was a middle-aged man, he got a good laugh out of it.

I was proud of my flip phone and super grateful for it. I let go of the idea that anyone else would judge me for having one, or that I was somehow “less than” anyone else because of it. The reality was that I met way more people who looked up to me for having it and never heard anyone judge me for it.

4. Be Intentional

This is something that I’ve learned is crucial in everything I do in life. I’ve found that when I don’t have an intention, my addiction creeps up on me. And it starts with the little things. For me, it’s been important to have an intention every time I get on my phone. And that goes whether I am using a flip phone or a smart phone.

What does it mean to be intentional? I will go into it in more detail another day, because it’s a whole article (or book!) worth of stuff to talk about, but the point is that being intentional is maintaining a state of awareness toward whatever it is you want to do in the moment.

Using a phone for example, if I want to pull my phone out of my pocket to check a text message, before I do so, my habit is to state my intention mentally (or sometimes audibly) before opening up my phone. Then, I get on my phone, check my text message and turn it off without doing anything else that wasn’t part of my intention. One other habit that I heard from someone else is to close my eyes and take one deep breath before getting on my phone. It always grounds me to the present moment and makes it easier to be intentional on my phone.

Smartphones were practically designed to keep people scrolling mindlessly. Notifications are endless. Content is infinite. You could scroll in your social media feed forever. That’s why being intentional is so important. And it keeps me from sliding through boundaries that will bring me one step closer to my addiction.

5. Consult with others before transitioning back to a smart phone

I used my flip phone for about a year. I never regret the year that I spent with that phone because I feel like it re-wired my brain and gave me the safety I needed to be in a much better place in recovery before I finally chose to transition back to a smartphone. But I didn’t make that choice lightly.

There were several factors that went into my choice to move back to a smartphone and they were personal to me and my work situation. I started to write about those factors and then I realized that I don’t want to provide excuses or justification to someone else for why they need to have a smartphone. I had my reasons, but what it came down to was that I was in a much better place in my recovery. I was a year sober from my porn addiction and had been steadily working my recovery every day. 

First, I got very clear with myself first about my intention for why I felt it was time to move back to a smartphone and made sure that there wasn’t any addictive purpose behind it. 

Second, I spoke to my wife about my reasons and assured her that it wasn’t a choice I was making lightly. I also sat down with her and went over the boundaries that I would be placing on myself while using my phone that would keep me safe and also give her a sense of safety.

Finally, I spoke to my sponsor about my desire to get a smartphone. We went over my reasoning behind it and the boundaries I would put in place and he pointed out some traps that I should be aware of. Then he gave me his blessing.

I’ve had a smartphone for the past 3 years or so and I still keep it pretty basic. I don’t have any games on my phone. I don’t have any social media on my phone. Most of the apps on my phone are designed to help me with my recovery. I also go over my phone usage pretty frequently and discuss it with my sponsor and when I feel like I’m sliding backward, I tighten up on my boundaries or recommit to the ones I’ve let slide and then move forward.