Dealing with a pornography addiction is undeniably painful and difficult — for the sufferer as well as their loved ones. As a porn addict, when you first began viewing porn, you may have told yourself that your habit wasn’t hurting anyone. Since then, you have likely become aware that it is indeed hurting people, but you may not fully understand how many people or who they are. Desert Solace, a sex and pornography addiction treatment center, discusses below how the porn industry destroys lives.
Is Porn Really That Bad?
This is a question many porn enthusiasts ask themselves. After all, they are adults engaging in what seems to be a legal act. In this blog post, we will skip over some of what we focus on in helping our clients break their addiction to pornography such as what porn takes from you and your relationships and instead discuss some of the ugliest truths in the porn industry.
At the end of 2020, Nicholas Kristof, a New York Times columnist who writes about human rights and women’s issues, among other topics, wrote a piece entitled, “The Children of Pornhub.” Pornhub is the most popular website in the world for viewing porn, including pictures, videos and movies.
In the article, Kristoff explains how many of the videos on Pornhub are made without the consent of those appearing in them, some of whom are children. Instead of providing only videos made by professional porn stars through legitimate movie studios, Pornhub allows anyone to upload or download videos to the site — videos they may have made at home or elsewhere.
Even if these videos are removed later because they violate the site’s rules, it may be too late. The content has likely already been downloaded and can simply be re-uploaded. Victims continually complain to Pornhub that illegally obtained videos of them keep reappearing on the site.
When Porn Is Really Bad
As anyone can imagine, it can be devastating and shocking for a woman to find out that the man she consented to having sex with secretly videotaped the encounter and uploaded it to a porn site for all to see, including people she knows and possibly friends and relatives. But that is by far not the worst part. Sometimes the victim is a child — a boy or girl in high school or even middle school. Some of the videos on Pornhub are taken in bathrooms and locker rooms with hidden cameras. Some videos depict actual rapes — some of children, others of women who are drugged and unconscious. In some videos, the women or girls are tortured.
Even if you seek to avoid these types of porn videos, if you have ever visited a porn site, you cannot escape the constant push to view videos of “girls” who are “young,” “teen,” “barely legal” and other terms that suggest that the subjects of the videos are underage and unable to give consent. The technical term for adult men who are attracted to pubescent girls is hebephile, which is distinct from pedophile, which refers to those who are attracted to pre-pubescent children.
What we here at Desert Solace want you to understand is that even if you truly seek to avoid underage porn, you have probably not been successful at it. If it was easy to distinguish between any 15-year-old girl and an 18-year-old woman, it would not be so hard to control the horrors of the porn industry.
So when you are watching what you may think are adult women consenting to participate in filmed sexual acts, you may actually instead be viewing teenage girls who have been coerced into performing in videos. They may be runaways, girls who are abused at home or alcohol or drug addicts.
When you realize what you are really watching when you’re watching porn and how Pornhub is profiting from the sexual abuse and humiliation of women and girls, and how many girls and women take their own lives because of it, you may no longer view your habit as something that doesn’t hurt anyone.
How to Beat a Pornography Addiction
If fear, shame and disgust have taken over your life due to your porn habit, it’s time to talk to the team at Desert Solace about entering porn rehab. At Desert Solace, you will receive individual counseling and participate in group therapy as part of your pornography addiction recovery plan. We will show you skills you can use to overcome your addiction to pornography, and new, healthy habits you can use to replace your porn addiction.
If you’re reading this, you have likely hit bottom with your porn addiction. Your wife or girlfriend may have found out about your habit and may be threatening to end the relationship if you don’t get help. You can probably safely assume your wife or girlfriend has not viewed much porn — perhaps only what you have downloaded. Imagine if instead of being aghast at your porn habit that they fully understood that a percentage of what you watch may include underage victims, rapes, assaults and more.
Allow the horrors of what we have outlined above to be your motivator for dedicating yourself to breaking your addiction to pornography. If you’re a father, imagine your teenage daughter’s boyfriend convincing her to perform a sex act, secretly recording it and uploading it to a porn site, where it may remain for her entire life. Imagine that she is abused by a teacher, clergyman or trusted relative and these abuses are recorded and shared with the world.
Make today the day you vow to abandon your porn habit and begin engaging in meaningful, healthy habits. Contact Desert Solace today for help with a porn addiction.
